Joe Franics is either the biggest douche bag or biggest genius ever, I can’t decide.
The founder of Girls Gone Wild brought Ashley Alexandra Dupre’s body into America’s home for $29.95* before Eliot Spitzer dropped tens of thousands on her.
In looking into that story, (i.e. looking for naked pictures of the chick), I stumbled upon the Meet Joe Francis website. A true gem of the web.
There are pages and pages of ridiculous shit there, including and 18 page autobiography about how sweet and sexy his life is and a FAQ. I skimmed through about 10% of it and found these quality quotes:
“If life is a ride, which it surely is, then mine has got to be the balls-out wildest roller coaster in the park.”
“I remember being in bed with Tara Reid one night when she asked ‘How does it feel to have sex with an A-list movie star?’”
“The whole Spring Break experience was infused with a sense of fun and freedom that I found absolutely exhilarating. And more to the point, it was infused with naked breasts! They were everywhere! And what man doesn’t love breasts? Tan, firm, real, 19-year-old breasts? ”
“I love girls. In a lot of ways, girls are like cats (and I love cats, too): They’re clever, they’re independent and they come to you on their own terms.”
Q: Have you ever had your heart broken?
A: Sure, but it helps ease the pain when you get as much as I’ve gotten in my life.
If you are bored and want to examine the inner workings of a millionaire ape, check it out.
*29.95 for the first film, after which you will be subscribed to GGW and your credit card will be charged $49.95 per month for the rest of your life because you are too embarrassed to call the credit card company and cancel.
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March 21st, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Joe just got out of jail too. You going to Caplicki’s?
March 21st, 2008 at 3:44 pm
best post title ever, although apes are generally good natured and are evolving (learning to share, use tools, etc.) I think this scumbag has issues in personal growth. (but I bet his customers don’t! hey-oh!)
March 22nd, 2008 at 4:52 am
If Joe Francis were somehow catapulted onto the sun’s surface, I would not be bummed.