Blogging on Meds

Working in the beauty industry, I thought I’d seen it all: nipple balm, pube dye, luxury dog perfume.

But today I learned I ain’t seen nothing yet. A few minutes ago, this press release came across my desk:

The New Purse Essential

You know the scene… it’s Friday night and you’re at a swanky new lounge with
friends. A couple drinks in, you need to visit the loo (that Thai takeout
you had for lunch is starting to kick) - only to find that it’s a unisex
situation. Luckily you have Poo~Pourri, so the young Brad Pitt look-a-like
in line behind you will never know…

Poo~Pourri is the “Before-You-Go” bathroom spray made with all-natural
essential oils formulated to prevent, rather than mask, embarrassing odors.
Simply spray 4-6 sprays onto the surface of the water, literally creating an
odor barrier film that traps and blocks unpleasant smells. Once flushed, the
odor neutralizing formula is released into the air, filling the bathroom
with a clean, fresh scent! Comes in original Poo~Pourri (a lemony scent),
No. 2 (a fruity floral), and Royal Flush (a masculine scent with eucalyptus
and spearmint). Ideal for work, travel, home, anywhere!

www.poopourri.net $9.95 - $16.95

So ladies, now when we’re done flavoring our nipples and bleaching our crotches, we also get to clean the toilet bowl at the local dive bar. See y’all at Max Fish!

According to today’s WWD, a Thursday raid in Queens turned up $5.5M in counterfeit luxury goods. Faux Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Gucci and Prada handbags — 50,000 in all — were confiscated.

Along with the bags, 65,000 pairs of Nike shoes and 6,000 Bathing Ape jumpsuits were also seized. First of all, are Bathing Ape jumpsuits so hard to get or so expensive that you’d buy a budget version on Canal St.? The answer to that may actually be “yes” — Bathing Ape and/or jumpsuits were never really my style.

Knock-offs suck and if you don’t believe me, read Dana Thomas’s Deluxe: How Luxury Lost its Luster (and let me know how it is). By now it’s been well-publicized that imitation luxury goods support child labor, sweatshops, organized crime, terrorism and anything else that would bum you out. But the most important question here is not why we’re willing to throw money at such a skeevy industry.

Rather, it’s why do we have such terrible taste? Of all the things that can be reproduced, we want a rainbow Coach bag that looks like a first grader designed it and giant baby clothes? A momentary lapse in morals can be excused, but we all need to take a stand against the popularization of adult-sized infant wear.

I predict that by this time next year, Paris will have dropped her 17 tiny dogs and Britney will have ditched her 2 kids in favor of the latest mini accessory: handguns.

5.5 centimeters long,  The Daily Mail reports the Swiss Minigun fires real bullets up to 112 meters.  It can also be made to order:

 ”We will make whatever the customer wishes for. The most expensive version we have sold cost £30,000 and was covered in diamonds and came with a gold chain.”

 

I think this could be a good thing.  It would be more effective than a 1 lb. dog at fending off paparazzi, and unlike the two Federline kids, it won’t require therapy.

By pure coincidence, I was reading journalist Jeanine Di Giovanni’s Madness Visible: A Memoir of War when Kosovo made its recent bid for independence.

A first-hand account of the breakup of Yugoslavia, Madness Visible offers insight into the complex situation in the Balkans in the late 1990s, and also reflections from several years later. At one point, Di Giovanni considers the impact the atrocities in Bosnia will have on its future:

Milosevic is in The Hague, the first head of state to be tried by an international court, and Karadzic will eventually be hunted down. But is it too late? During those dark years, no one came to save Bosnia. Neither God, nor the Orthodox saints, nor the angels – despite all the candles the old ladies lit in the cemeteries and the prayers they said – certainly not the UN or the Western leaders, had tried to save it until it was too late.

In return, a whole generation will spend their lives trying to process the horror of what they saw. The stench of the place, the slow smell of death, will erode everything. Thousands of peacekeeping soldiers can’t cover it up, and all the World Bank money and Danish and Austrian economic aid can’t fix it.

[A friend] had said to me, in that field in Kozarac, when he showed me the Orthodox cross burnt into his scalp: “Evil things happened here.”

When contemplating the fate of Bosnia, Di Giovanni later asks:

What happened to this country? Who lit the fuse? How far had people gotten this time from past wars, past hatreds, past desires, past petty grievances? Would someone send someone to a concentration camp again in eight or ten years?…Would they inherit the same sense of humiliation and bitterness and the quest for retribution passed on from generation to generation?

People are clever. They know that unless they learn from the past they will continue to repeat the same mistakes, over and over. The same web of violence, terror and destruction. I just don’t know if they will, or can, get past it.

Given that the US Embassy in Belgrade is currently in flames, Madness Visible seems an eerie foreshadow. But I hope I’m wrong.

According to Natasha Singer in today’s NY Times Thursday Styles, high-end fragrance sales are on the decline. Luxury perfume sales often slip when money is tight because it’s easier to justify spending $26 on your favorite Chanel lipstick than $110 on a new fragrance. But the editor points out that this new trend is due to some unique factors rarely considered in the industry:

“People are shying away from fragrances not for the traditional reasons that you’d expect, that it is too expensive or that they are wearing alternative products like body sprays or lotions,” Ms. Grant said. “Many people said it bothers them that fragrance has an effect on other people, that they are trying to be considerate by not overcoming others with scent.”

Ok, so I’ll buy for a minute that 2% more women won’t wear fragrance this year because they’re afraid of offending other noses. But I doubt there will be a long-term effect on the perfume industry. As long as marketing and advertising exist, a substantial number of people will invest in fragrance.

Here’s why:

All brands – Prada, Gucci, Chloe, even P. Diddy – sell us an image. It begins with the clothing and is confirmed and sustained through ads. We want to be the jetsetter. Or Diddy’s love slave.


Or even Tom Ford’s co-star in a 70’s-style porn as shot by Terry Richardson
(but hey, that’s my issue, not yours).

For the majority of us, luxury fragrance is often the only piece of an aspirational brand we can afford. We want the Chloe life but we still want to pay our rent, so we’ll skip the $2,100 tank dress and go for the Eau de Toilette instead. It’s the same reason handbags and shoes – not clothing – account for the majority of Louis Vuitton sales.

So maybe there is a trend toward going fragrance-free. But I think in the long run, as long as they’re selling us a life we want, we’ll be buying the scent.

I would love to write a review of the Zac Posen show, but I work with the designer and think that would be what they call a conflict of interest. But I will say that Diddy, Rachel Zoe and Anna Wintour all left nodding their heads approvingly with smiles on their faces. (Ok, that last part is a total lie; everyone knows Anna Wintour doesn’t smile).

One of the highlights of the show — next to the gorgeous Le Smoking suit that I would kill to own if I were 5′11″, 120 lbs. and 19 years old — was model Karen Elson.

Smoking Jumpsuit

Karen has been busy over the past few years, marrying that White Stripe, having babies and touring with Citizens Band. Now she’s slowly making her way back to the catwalk.

She was set to close the F/W 08 Zac Posen show in a beautiful “Dove Gown” but as Karen walked out, the shoes that so many girls before her had stumbled in tripped her up. Literally. She teetered for a moment and it looked like she might catch her balance, but she ultimately went down. Remember that episode of Sex of the City when Carrie became “Fashion Roadkill”?

Carrie Bradshaw as Fashion Roadkill

It was like that. When Karen finally got to her feet with a shake of the head and a shrug, the entire audience was cheering her on. She managed to laugh, but you could tell she was shaken. From where I was sitting, I could see her mouthing to the designer backstage “I’m so sorry…I’m just so sorry…” just before the final bow.

Karen Elson as Fashion Roadkill

I guess that means models — even fabulous models with little Striped babies — are people, too.

On another note, the after party was at the new NY outpost of nightclub Mansion, which was clearly not ready for such an early opening. The floors were unfinished, the ceiling wires were exposed and there was no need for the fashion crowd to make use of the “tabletop mirror” that came with the Zac Posen invitation: the paint fumes alone could get you high. Luckily, the pot smoke wafting from Diddy’s crew’s table combined with the contortionist and gospel choir made such imperfections unnoticeable. If only because we were all a little stoned by proximity.

On top of Fashion Week coverage, WWD was conducting its own informal Super Tuesday poll at the Tents yesterday.

Regarding his vote for Obama, author Dominick Dunne is quoted as saying: “I like him for the same reason Caroline Kennedy likes him. He’s got excitement like no one has had since JFK. I love to hear him speak, I love his wit and I love his style.” (Published: Tuesday, February 05, 2008)

I’d be lying if I said this statement didn’t make me just a bit nervous. Remember in ’04, when the Economist polled Americans on which candidate they’d rather get a drink with, and Bush won out over Kerry? Bush was great at giving weight to his message with non-threatening delivery, an ability to connect on a personal level with voters. Votes were won because Americans could see themselves hanging out at the bar with him on a Friday night. Scary. While I did vote for Clinton yesterday, I can’t hate if Obama becomes the next president – but I can be concerned if he becomes the next president simply because the content of his message is overshadowed by his likeability and frequent use of the word “change.”

Another cause for alarm:

Simon Doonan [Creative Director at Barney’s] also has concerns about Clinton, even as he expressed support for her. “I am ping-ponging back and forward between Hillary and Obama so much that I have whiplash! I have a very meager understanding of the political scene. Most of the time I have no idea what they are talking about. I am one of the only people on the planet who is prepared to admit this. However, I think Obama has a better shot at stabilizing the situation in the Middle East. I am not sure the Middle Eastern leaders are going to listen to a woman.”

Who wants to be the one to break to Simon that even a handful of Islamic nations have seen female leaders? Anyone here heard of Bhutto? I guess being killed before Fashion Week is like having your birthday the day after Christmas: no one really notices. [ED NOTE: Bhutto was kinda Dior-fashionable too.]

Ok, so I’m a little late getting to the NYT’s Thursday Styles but “Beauty Blogs Come of Age: Swag, Please!” is worth a read. The article talks about bloggers’ quick morph from the ugly stepchildren of the beauty industry into legitimate commentators – and an efficient way to quickly promote a product.In the interest of full disclosure, I’m a beauty publicist. I work this industry where beauty editors are “encouraged” to write about lipstick and skin cream with free products, expensive parties, and over-the-top gifts. That’s not to say that journalists can be bribed or that they cover products they hate. (ED NOTE: Rumor has it editors CAN be bribed, even at the Gray Lady!!!) In one week, an editor may receive 12 “mauve” lipsticks alone; perks, relationships with publicists, and advertising dollars just help certain products stand out from the rest.

Go Pats! Gisele makes many of millions from beauty contracts.

I may be a publicist, but I’m also a consumer: I wear makeup and I like to know about the newest skin creams. “Beauty Blogs” is right about the new validation blogs are receiving from the beauty industry, but it fails to mention how this affects a blog’s authenticity from the reader’s standpoint. Magazines like Vogue and W will always be the authority on beauty, but I read blogs because of they seem free of outside influence. Rarely are there big-name ads on these sites, and many PR agencies just don’t have the budgets to reach out to bloggers. So it makes sense, then, that what you’re reading is an honest, no holds barred review of the newest product. But perhaps even I was naïve in this thinking.

The article points out that as companies realize the influence blogs have on sales, they are including this new media in standard PR outreach. Print media has always worked under the rule that “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” and now, as Kayleen Schaefer points out, “Some bloggers refuse to bite the hand that gives them perfume.” Can you blame them? I’d sing the praises something called Sexual Secret Eau de Parfum if Victoria’s Secret flew me to LA for a Supermodel PJ Party – but I wouldn’t expect readers to take my opinion without a grain of salt.

So blogs are going the same way of traditional media: gaining industry integrity but losing credibility with informed and skeptical consumers. And if you’re thinking of changing careers, look into blogging.