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Uh oh


Monday, September 8, 2008 - 10:32 pm (EST)
By Tommy Esquire

I know we’re all trying to avert our eyes from the horrifying debacle that is Sarah Palin, but news isn’t good.  Bounces come and go, and one day’s brand new thing can turn into yesterday’s news pretty quick — just ask Barack Obama.  But if Obama-Biden are going to get back in this thing and offset the tremendous enthusiasm for the Palin (and McCain) ticket, they need to watch their mouths.  Obama’s playing a hard offense – a good thing, since McCain didn’t get his lead in the polls by playing nice – but what Obama’s saying makes you think Palin is seriously getting under his skin.

Today, to back up his back-handed compliment of Palin’s “compelling” story, he said:

I mean that sincerely. Mother, governor, moose shooter.

It doesn’t take a Frank Luntz to tell you that “moose hunter” = good, while “moose shooter” = baaaaad.  If Obama wants to convince small town voters that he really believes there’s a constitutional right to bear arms, he might want to avoid hinting that they cling to their guns to shoot defenseless animals.

Better yet, Michelle Obama was quoted last week at a gay fundraiser saying of Joe Biden:

“What you learn about Barack from his choice is that he’s not afraid of smart people.” The crowd softly chuckled.

There’s nothing like Ivy League-educated uppity sisters mocking the intelligence of the small town mayor in front of west coast homosexuals that appeals to middle America.

The Obama campaign’s line of defense against Sarah Palin has been a fiasco from the beginning.  They started by questioning her experience — a real winning argument from the guy who’s four years removed from being a state senator — and haven’t had anything stick yet.  They’re running ads highlighting Palin-McCain’s opposition to abortion rights, but that can only go so far: a recent Gallup poll found a narrow margin of women — 50% to 43% — identify as pro-choice, and only 13% of Americans say a “candidate must share their views on abortion.”

A Republican strategist I spoke to said that from the go, Obama should have made clear he wasn’t even concerned with Sarah Palin, that he was running against John McCain.  This guy was right.  McCain threw the kitchen sink at Obama for months, and he was never able to overtake him in the polls.  Now that Palin’s in the picture, Obama is suddenly desperate for relevance.

Anything can happen from here till November, but if the Obama camp thinks it can tackle this girl, it might be playing to forfeit.

The bump


Friday, August 29, 2008 - 3:12 pm (EST)
By Tommy Esquire

According to Gallup, the Democratic National Convention was very, very good to Barack Obama.  Its latest daily tracking poll (done Tuesday through Thursday) has Obama up 8 points over McCain, 49%-41%.  We’ll see if this poll is a trend or a fluke when others come out, but with 2,727 surveyed, the margin of error is only ±2%.  The convention couldn’t have gone much better for Obama.  Huge ratings, great speeches, 95% endorsements from the Clintons.  The RNC, which will feature the popular (Bush-Cheney), the star power (Tim Pawlenty) and the exorcist (Bobby Jindal), is already talking about delaying its convention so as not to conflict with Hurricane Gustav.  For obvious reasons.

How Sarah Palin will impact the race is anyone’s guess.  Conventional wisdom holds that running mates have negligible affect on elections, but Sarah Palin is anything but conventional.  With the Obama camp’s first statement, it is already playing defense to keep women voters:

Today, John McCain put the former mayor of a town of 9,000 with zero foreign policy experience a heartbeat away from the presidency. Governor Palin shares John McCain’s commitment to overturning Roe v. Wade, the agenda of Big Oil and continuing George Bush’s failed economic policies — that’s not the change we need, it’s just more of the same.

Obama rarely talks about abortion, and last night he said only, “we may not agree on abortion, but surely we can agree on reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies in this country.”  Now he has a wedge issue that can hurt him with Catholics and evangelicals but he hopes will keep the ladies from straying (who as of last week supported him 47%-41%).

Victory is in sight.  Now let’s get get get it!

Young Jeezy ft Nas - My President

The Return of Budget Hillary!


Wednesday, August 27, 2008 - 9:52 am (EST)
By Tommy Esquire

Just like KISS when they put the makeup back on, Hillary Clinton has emerged from her Chappaqua bunker in full regular-white-person garb ready to take on uppity elitists everywhere.  Budget Hillary doesn’t just give a speech.  Budget Hillary does shots, plays hearts, joins book clubs, balances check books, takes kids to baseball practice, gets the oil changed, and still finds time to watch her stories.

Budget Hillary gave a lot of reasons to vote Democrat last night and said a couple nice things about Barack and Michelle, but didn’t bother to refute this week’s McCain attack ad where she says, “John McCain has a lifetime of experience.  Senator Obama gave a speech in 2002.”  Budget Hillary can’t be blamed for not dropping out sooner; it’s thanks to her that today Jeremiah Wright and Bill Ayers are yesterday’s news (for now).  But her praise of John McCain over Barack Obama when already she had no chance to win the nomination is pretty unforgivable.  Budget Hillary doesn’t give a darn.

Screw Bill


Wednesday, August 27, 2008 - 9:32 am (EST)
By Tommy Esquire

CNN is reporting that Bill Clinton will go home and pout while Barack Obama becomes the first African American ever to accept his party’s nomination for President of the United States.

All I can say is forget this guy.  After W, you can appreciate Bill’s ability to practically manage a country and responsibly engage in combat.  But as far as advancing the agenda of the Democratic party, Bill was a complete dud.  After falling on his face with health care, he spent the last six years of his Presidency treading water.  Obama’s comment that the Republican party was the “party of ideas” during the Clinton era stung because it was true.  Thanks to lucking into a terrific economic cycle that he somehow gets credit for (did he invest the PC or something?), he was enormously popular.  But he never translated that popularity into the kind of game-changing overhaul of government that Reagan and W were able to accomplish.  Meanwhile, Clinton did little to build the Democratic party nationally (as Obama is already working to repair), allowing Republicans to build majorities in state houses across the country and gerrymander their way to Republican domination of Congress during the W years.  If you want a modern hero of Democratic values, take Tip O’Neill, Paul Simon, Ted Kennedy or Paul Wellstone.

Now Bill is more upset about his legacy than he is about the prospect of four more years of a Republican in the White House and the possibility of 2-3 more conservative justices on the Supreme Court with the desire and ability to end so many Constitutional liberties that we take for granted and strike down cities’ abilities to enact effective gun control and programs for the advancement of disadvantaged minorities.

He’ll say all the right things tonight, then let you know tomorrow that he didn’t mean it.  What can you say?

What happened to Budget Hillary?


Tuesday, August 26, 2008 - 8:16 pm (EST)
By Tommy Esquire

Part of the brilliant strategy of the last three months of Hillary Clinton’s primary run (too little too late, but give credit where it’s due) was dressing like the voters she wanted.  The earthtoned pantsuits and expensive backdrops of her early “inevitable” campaign didn’t get her anywhere, so she swallowed her taste and went for bright-colored shiny suits that a woman in Anytown Rustbelt USA would wear to a job interview or church (except for the pants).  How can you connect with the Jack-and-Diane types when you’re dressed for a D.C. cocktail party?  But judging from her post-primary appearances, she looks like she’s back to fundraising in White Plains.  Fine-tailored suits, colors that don’t hurt your eyes, even pearls.  Welcome back, Bougie Hillary.

Before:

After:

New T.I.: which one of these is not like the other?


Tuesday, August 26, 2008 - 7:07 pm (EST)
By Tommy Esquire

 

Oh shit.  Here’s the weirdest song of the year: Swagger Like Us” by T.I., featuring Kanye West, Jay-Z, AND Lil Wayne.  Sounds exciting with the four biggest rappers on the planet on one joint, only it’s terrible.  The hook (and basically the whole song) is a sample from M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” where she says “no one on the corner has a swagger like us.”  So yeah, it’s a UK hipster ironically jacking real rappers, sampled by real rappers.  And no, it ain’t a hoax perpetrated by some blogger-DJ, it’s legit.  It doesn’t work at all, and the verses aren’t even hot.  Kanye turns on the auto-tune but doesn’t sound awesome like he did on “Put On” and Hov and Weez sound like they just recorded over their iphone after getting the paypal confirmation.  Only Tip really goes hard, but by the time he comes in, you just want the song to be over.

I could see this being a Kanye song, or maybe Hov or Wayne trying to be daring, but I really can’t wrap my head around T.I. getting behind this.  The man has the best taste of any rapper, he never drops anything questionable, and even his joints for the ladies are perfectly respectable.  This is like getting your college friends together with your high school buddies, or eating cole slaw and pancakes — you just can’t believe it’s happening.  I hope this doesn’t end up on Paper Trail.

Young Jeezy needs a Vacation (but not from rapping)


Monday, August 25, 2008 - 1:27 pm (EST)
By Tommy Esquire

Unlike his boy Tip, who has been dropping heat ever since getting sentenced to a year in the pen, Young Jeezy has kept the joints quiet off his new album The Recession (dropping next Tuesday).  Until now.  A bunch of shit has leaked in the last week, and let me tell you, this bitch will challenge Carter III and Paper Trail for album of the year.  Usually in rap, the best music comes from the new blood and not the veterans, but these boys are seriously puttin’ it down.

The next single is Vacation.  Featuring an amazing beat from NYC’s The Inkredibles, this song keeps up with the massive sound from Put On and, really, everything he’s ever done.  (Sorry this one cuts off, if ya got a better one, post it in the comments.)

By the way, big ups to Jay for shouting out ya boy’s old hood Kirkwood in this joint.  When I moved over there, it was nothing but dope boys and tranny hookers, and when I moved out (two years later) it was all coffee shops and health food grocers.  People went from pushin’ weight to pushin’ strollers.  So if my experience is any help, all you need to gentrify is bump snap music loud and throw midnight barbecues.  If you smoke it, they will come.  And by ‘they’ I mean white thirtysomethings.

Your new favorite music blogger: Howard Wolfson!


Thursday, August 21, 2008 - 12:48 pm (EST)
By Tommy Esquire

That’s right baby!  Howard Wolfson, erstwhile communications director for Hillary Clinton and current Fox News Channel contributor, is now an indie rock blogger!  His new blog, Gotham Acme, provides Wolfson’s “musings about music, and, from time to time, politics.”  So far he’s unearthed such unknowns as TV On The Radio (”America’s best band”), Drive By Truckers and The Hold Steady, pictured above (”Two of America’s best live bands!”).  So if you’re daring enough to go off the beaten Beltway path, log on and tune in!!  (By the way, Washington Post political writer Chris Cillizza’s favorite band is Wilco, the greatest band you’ve never heard of.)

Are Gen-X’ers the new baby boomers?  Just like our parents who will never get over how proud they are of Aretha Franklin, Bob Dylan and Ravi Shankar (like they were responsible for them or something), washed up Gen-X’ers will never miss an opportunity to tell you they saw Einsturzende Neubauten and Camper Van Beethoven during freshman year in college.  The worst midlife crisis cases will always feel like they need to know the next cool “underground” band, which happens to be in Rolling Stone.

To be fair, unlike boomers, Gen-X’ers were on some legitimate shit back in the day.  They rocked Sonic Youth, Black Flag, the Meat Puppets, Bad Brains, Violent Femmes, Replacements, Dinosaur Jr…. the list goes on.  Whether or not you’ve actually listened to any of those bands in the last decade, they were definitely pretty cool in the 80s and sound a hell of a lot better today than the Arctic Monkeys will in 20 years.  Hell, music that came out five years ago is already unlistenable (Kings of Leon?)  How’s that for longevity.

(This is giving Howard Wolfson the benefit of the doubt that he’s even young enough to belong to Generation X.  I have no idea.  He looks older in that picture than others of him.)

Who’s old enough to be Barack Obama’s VP?


Tuesday, August 19, 2008 - 12:58 pm (EST)
By Tommy Esquire

Don’t worry about those uneducated blue-collar white voters.  Forget about security moms, NASCAR dads and whatever other demographic the media invests this year.  The 2008 election is all about age.  According to the last two Washington Post-ABC News polls, Barack Obama is winning 63% of the 18-29 group, and 39% of voters 65 and older.  For the kids, that’s 9 points better than Kerry got in ‘04 and 15 points better than Gore in ‘00.  For the old timers, that’s 8 points worse than Kerry and 11 points worse than Gore.  This is a MAJOR split, and unfortunately for Barack, it’s the seniors who have nothing better to do than vote.  Interestingly, the old folks are the only group that’s concerned that McCain’s age will limit his ability to lead (dey know) — just not concerned enough to vote for the young negro whipper-snapper.

Needless to say, Barack badly needs to pick someone who can reassure your grandad that he’s ready to lead on day one and isn’t about to sell the country to the black panthers.  Joe Biden is all over the news lately, and he would make a great Dick Cheney pick: someone who isn’t going to be the best liked VP ever, but who’s enough of a known brand that can provide proper supervision, especially on foreign policy (serious props to Saakashvili for requesting the veep contender’s Georgia visit – Misha knows how to play our country like scrabble).

My personal favorite remains Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius.  She’s an extremely popular and successful governor of a blood red state, who happens to wear her hair gray.  Not only can she help lock up women and the old folks as a running mate, she would actually be a pretty incredible Vice President (that counts).  I think Barack can afford to piss off Hillary for making Katy the historic broad of ‘08.

Alert: David Brooks has an opinion


Tuesday, August 5, 2008 - 3:04 pm (EST)
By Tommy Esquire

As is his specialty, David Brooks has cracked the mystery of Barack Obama’s poor poll numbers.  Is it Obama’s thin resume?  His lack of foreign policy bona fides?  His impotent campaign?  His refusal to engage in policy debate?  The fact that 20% of America thinks he’s a Muslim?  That his crackpot pastor said GOD DAMN AMERICA on video?  No!!  In his column today, David Brooks pegs this one on the fact that Obama has loose cultural roots, which happen to be Brooks’ other specialty.  (I’m sure you’ve read Bobos in Paradise: The New Upper Class and How They Got There and On Paradise Drive: How We Live Now (And Always Have) in the Future Tense.)

Brooks writes:

There is a sense that because of his unique background and temperament, Obama lives apart. He put one foot in the institutions he rose through on his journey but never fully engaged. As a result, voters have trouble placing him in his context, understanding the roots and values in which he is ineluctably embedded.

Although he has no poll data or “facts” to rely upon, David Brooks (the Canadian) is uniquely endowed with the ability to gauge every American trend there is and tell us exactly how we feel and why.  If David Brooks didn’t write for the New York Times, you might wonder what makes him qualified to paint with such a broad stroke, but David Brooks does, and you don’t.

When we’re judging candidates (or friends), we don’t just judge the individuals but the milieus that produced them.

So true.  I know I’m not the only person who won’t have a drink with a guy unless I approve of the milieu that produced him.  How else would I know that he appreciates a fine Côtes du Rhône or David Brooks?

If Obama is fully a member of any club — and perhaps he isn’t — it is the club of smart post-boomer meritocrats. We now have a cohort of rising leaders, Obama’s age and younger, who climbed quickly through elite schools and now ascend from job to job. They are conscientious and idealistic while also being coldly clever and self-aware. It’s not clear what the rest of America makes of them.

So, cautiously, the country watches. This should be a Democratic wipeout. But voters seem to be slow to trust a sojourner they cannot place.

There you have it.  In case you thought Obama can’t win because he’s a liberal, black, law professor, or closet Muslim, you stand corrected.  America will NOT elect a sojourner.

Juney Boomdata asks: wassaup wit da cookies??


Monday, August 4, 2008 - 2:07 pm (EST)
By Tommy Esquire

 

I give y’all the hottest song in Atlanta.  After bustin’ out with Marc DeCoca’s trap classic “J’s At My Door” in 2005, Whitehorse Entertainment is back with Juney Boomdata’s “Wassup Wit Da Pussy/Cookies” featuring DeCoca.  The beat bangs, Marc DeCoca sounds like a ghetto Ludacris, and Juney is just nasty: 

Don’t kiss me in the mouth, girl go straight for the boxers
We can get freaky-deeky and play coppers and robbers
I only had one question the first time I saw her
Wassap wit da pussy?
Wassap wit da pussy?
Don’t act like that girl, like you don’t wanna give it to me

I’ma break y’all off with the since unless your name is Wayne, no girl is going to talk to you after playing the durty one.  And you know I got your back with the ladies.

R.I.P. Skip Caray


Monday, August 4, 2008 - 11:50 am (EST)
By Tommy Esquire

It’s a sad day as longtime Braves play-by-play man Skip Caray has passed away at 68 after a long struggle with diabetes, congestive heart failure, irregular heartbeat, cirrhosis, and reduced kidney functions.  The man partied hard and he paid for it.  Skip was the Braves play-by-play guy since 1976, before I was even born, and it’s not a stretch to say that besides my family, there’s no voice that ’s more familiar to me.  Like his dad, he never played organized baseball.  He wasn’t a baseball man, he was a baseball fan.  But unlike his good-natured pop, he never tried to be anything but a sarcastic, dirty-mouthed S.O.B.  As he said, “I’m the wise ass in the family.”  He compared his ex-wives to players he didn’t like.  He once said, “the bases are loaded again, and I wish I was too.”  He would say about reliever Jung Bong, “there’s another hit off the bong.”  For a guy in his 60s, he was a riot to the end, and I’m sure that away from the microphone, he was over the top.  Still, the man had a big heart and never crossed the line between caustic and malicious.  He will be missed.

Swung, line drive left field! One run is in! Here comes Bream! Here’s the throw to the plate! He is … safe! Braves win! Braves win! Braves win! Braves win!

 

Not a photoshop: sparring with Ali in 1977

Coaches Poll: Georgia No. 1 in Nation


Friday, August 1, 2008 - 3:30 pm (EST)
By Tommy Esquire

Clockwise from top left: RB Knowshon Moreno, QB Matthew Stafford, Andre Woodson tackled by DT Geno Atkins, Coach Richt

It’s official: the USA Today Coaches Poll is in, and the Georgia Bulldogs lead the pack.  The Dawgs were the second half surprise of College Football last season.  Left for dead after tough losses to South Carolina and Tennessee, and needing a fourth-quarter come-from-behind win against Vanderbilt, the team looked like a questionable bowl game pick.  But out of nowhere, redshirt freshman running back Knowshon Moreno had the game of his life with 188 yards rushing against the defending National champion Florida Gators, a team that had beat Georgia fifteen of the last seventeen games in The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party.  Georgia didn’t lose another game and went on to obliterate Hawaii in the Sugar Bowl.

The Bulldogs enter 2008 with most of their 2007 roster intact.  DT Geno Atkins leads what could be the best defense in the nation.  QB Matthew Stafford is already mentioned as a first-round NFL draft pick.  Knowshon rushed for more yards in backing up Thomas Brown than any freshman in SEC history except Herschel Walker, Jamal Lewis and Emmitt Smith.  And redshirt freshman RB Caleb King — who out of high school was more highly thought of than even Knowshon – is set to make one of the most anticipated debuts in Bulldog history.

Everything looks perfect for Georgia, and hopes have never been higher in Bulldog Country.  There’s only one problem: Georgia faces one of the the toughest schedules in the nation.  They get to play No. 6 LSU, No. 11 Auburn, and No. 16 Arizona State on the road, No. 5 Florida in “neutral” Jacksonville, and No. 18 Tennessee at home.  And they face highly regarded South Carolina away and Bama in Athens.  It would take a small miracle for any team to get through this schedule with only one or two losses, and Georgia would still have to beat probably Auburn or LSU in the SEC Championship Game to play for its first National Championship since Vince Dooley’s 1980 squad.  If you want a Champion pick, USC or Ohio State would be a safer choice, but the Bulldogs are the best.

Regardless, this will be one hell of a season.

Games that look amazing right now:
Aug. 30: App State at LSU
Sept. 13: Ohio State at Southern Cal
Sept. 20: LSU at Auburn
Oct. 11: Texas at Oklahoma
Oct. 18: Missouri at Texas
Oct. 23: Auburn at West Virginia
Oct. 25: Georgia at LSU
Nov. 1: Florida vs. Georgia
Nov. 15: Georgia at Auburn
Nov. 22: Texas Tech at Oklahoma
Nov. 29: Clemson at South Carolina
Dec. 6: South Florida at West Virginia

Thanks for the memories!


Thursday, July 31, 2008 - 5:32 pm (EST)
By Tommy Esquire

Manny Ramirez with Manny Ramirez, Jr. (b. 2003); Manny Ramirez, Jr. (b. 1995) not pictured

Manny Ramirez with Manny Ramirez, Jr. (b. 2003); Manny Ramirez, Jr. (b. 1995) not pictured

I know that my bloggers in crime who are Red Sox fans will have far more eloquence and gravitas than I could possibly provide on this subject, but it’s been a fun fucking 7.5 years watching Manny be Manny with the Red Sox.  As of this afternoon, Manny is a Dodger, Andy LaRoche is a Pirate (ouch) and Jason Bay is the luckiest guy in Pittsburgh as he’s headed for the Sox, the first time he’s ever been on a winning team.

As one of the last members of the Red Sox to have been acquired by Dan Duquette, it’s really worth mentioning how much Boston is indebted to the Duke.  The man was responsible for Manny, Pedro, Nomar, Varitek, D-Lowe, Damon, Youkilis, and (most importantly) Carl Everett, AND he was smart enough to let go of Mo Vaughn.  Yet all he gets remembered for is not re-signing pre-HGH Roger Clemens after he had four pretty mediocre seasons.  He scored amazing trades like getting Pedro from the Expos for Carl Pavano and Tony Armas, and getting Varitek and Lowe for freakin’ Heathcliff Slocumb.  He even drafted Gary Sheffield (for the Brewers).  Yet he’s out of Major League Baseball forever.

Theo looks better on TV, but there’s no doubt in my mind who is most responsible for the Sox’ breakthrough.

Here’s to you, Mr. Duquette.

Jesse Jackson challenges Barack Obama to a cut-your-nuts-off duel


Wednesday, July 9, 2008 - 10:37 pm (EST)
By Tommy Esquire

Unless you’ve escaped media for two whole hours, you know by now that Jesse Jackson was caught on tape saying he wants to cut Barack Obama’s nuts off for having the audacity to criticize deadbeat dads and say that young brothers should give up on the Lil Wayne dream and stay in school.  Of course, Jesse immediately apologized and called his support for Barack “wide, deep and unequivocal,” although he might have been talking about the vagina he was planning on carving out.

From the NY Post:

Jackson said that in doing so Obama was hurting his relationship with black voters, “that the senator was cutting off his you-know-whats with the black people and black churches.”

Now I’m a white guy, but I really could not disagree more here.  Black folks know what the problems are in their communities, they’re not happy with no-show baby daddies, and they want someone to stand up to them.  Almost half of American black children live without a father, which is more than double any other ethic group in this county.

This is a huge opportunity for Barack Obama, not just with blacks but with those blue collar white Democrats and independents who are fed up with Republicans but are pretty wary after hearing Barack’s black pastor say GOD DAMN AMERICA.  Standing up to Jesse Freakin’ Jackson would be like Sister Souljah times a thousand.  At the same time, he won’t be losing many – if any – blacks, who are on Obama’s side to begin with, and from my experience have been cool to Jesse for years.

This all assumes that Barack has the nuts to stand up for something. If he follows the same play-it-safe, no controversy game plan he’s been so widely derided for the last few weeks, he will pass up a once-in-a-lifetime political opportunity.  The fish jumped right in the boat, and all he has to do is whack it with the oar.

Maino: big up…… to all my haters!


Tuesday, July 1, 2008 - 7:47 pm (EST)
By Tommy Esquire

this is … the remix

This joint is perfect.  “Dollar Bill Y’all” sample, DOPE bass line, simple hard spittin’.  Straight old time perfection.  This just started getting play in the A, I guess it’s been around New York for a minute.  Once upon a time Maino caught a charge on some weight/kidnapping shit, got locked up for a decade (yes, a decade), missed 2Pac, Biggie, Rodney King, OJ, and Seinfeld, spent a bunch of time in solitary and made himself into a MC.  Then he got out, kicked around for a few years, started running with Lil Kim and got some buzz little by little.

To me he’s a New York Shawty Lo (which is the highest praise I can give — and he’s on the Dey Know NYC remix).  He’s not trippin’ on some complex flow, he just go hard with swag.  And unlike every other rapper up there, he makes music that LADIES can feel.  You remember girls, NY?  They don’t download mixtapes and they don’t care if Saigon or Papoose is better.  They like to dance.  Y’all can talk all you want about how G Rap got a raw deal, but I never heard one beezy trippin’ on him.  Matter of fact, instead of bitching about how only “ringtone artists” make money these days, keep your girl in mind and see what happens.

Go back all through rap history, there ain’t a single big time rapper that didn’t get love from the girls.  The first rap superstar wasn’t “Ladies Love” for nothing.  Pac was the biggest rapper ever, and he still gets more love than all today’s NY rappers combined.  LL and Pac were just pretty boys?  Well Biggie was ugly as shit and he still had girls falling over for him.  Why was Tribe the only big time ”alternative” rap group ever?  Do you have any IDEA how much girls love Q-Tip?  The man has a license to print pussy.  Hi haters.  At some point you can kiss-kiss so much that you lose the fellas, which is like trying to be president without the white vote.  Just ask LL or Ja Rule.

Welcome back Bob Barr!


Monday, June 30, 2008 - 10:00 am (EST)
By Tommy Esquire

Bob Barr is a white man.  Seriously.  Look it up.

There’s been some chatter in the last few days about Libertarian pres nominee Bob Barr’s chances to play spoiler to John McCain come November.  This the former conservative Republican who first got famous for publicly licking whipped cream off a woman’s breasts (he said it was for charity), tried unsuccessfully to ban wicca in the military after seeing a special report on the O’Reilly Factor (resolution: “BARR DEMANDS END TO TAXPAYER-FUNDED WITCHCRAFT ON AMERICAN MILITARY BASES”), and tried — again unsuccessfully — to sue Bill Clinton, James Carville and Larry Flynt for $30 million arising from emotional distress he suffered during the Clinton impeachment proceedings (Barr was one target of Flynt’s cash offer to anyone with evidence of GOP congressmen with past extramarital affairs).  Even if his present candidacy has no consequence whatsoever, this is one of America’s greatest newsmakers and it’s good to have him back.

The Libertarian Party has never scored better than 1.06% of the vote in the big election, and in 2004, nominee Michael Badnarik only got 0.34%.  But the Libertarian Party has never had anyone with half the notoriety of Bob Barr.  Barr was one of those archetypal congressional Republicans of the 1990s.  As senior member of the House Judiciary Committee, he threw a fit at the Waco hearings, tried to get Clinton impeached before there was Monica Lewinsky, and served as floor manager for the post-Monica impeachment proceedings.

At the same time, Barr turned a lot of heads as an ardent supporter of privacy rights — surprising coming from an ex-CIA analyst.  Barr won more oversight of the FBI’s “Carnivore” monitoring system, unsuccessfully tried to limit government inspection of bank accounts, and opposed warrantless police record requests to telecoms (sound familiar?).  And before he was squeezed out of his suburban Atlanta seat by Democratic redistricting in Georgia, Barr also criticized portions of the Patriot Act as granting overly broad surveillance powers, although he ultimately voted in favor of the Act.  Barr was a real thorn in the side of Democrats while on the Hill, but they probably would have appreciated having his voice around after the NSA’s warrantless wiretapping program came to light in December 2005.

(more…)

Heller: Right to bear arms nearly absolute; Bernhard Goetz cheers


Thursday, June 26, 2008 - 3:02 pm (EST)
By Tommy Esquire

Bernard Goetz

In one of biggest landmark cases in the history of the United States, and probably the most important since Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court today held in D.C. v. Heller that no local or state government can issue blanket prohibitions against the possession of handguns.  This ruling has tremendous implications for cities like D.C. (whose own gun control law was struck down today) and New York, where you have to be Arthur Sulzberger to pack heat.

Antonin Scalia, in his majority opinion, adds a minor caveat:

“The court’s opinion should not be taken to cast doubt on longstanding prohibitions on the possession of firearms by felons and the mentally ill, or laws forbidding the carrying of firearms in sensitive places such as schools and government buildings, or laws imposing conditions and qualifications on the commercial sale of arms.” 

So Bloomberg gets to pretend that this ruling has nothing to do with New York, that it’s only a matter of degree of what is allowed and what isn’t.  He’s already said this:

What you don’t have a right to do is to hold one if you are a criminal, and the courts clearly ruled that reasonable regulation — which we believe would include all of the laws on the books in New York State and New York City, and sufficient to keep guns out of the hands of criminals — reasonable regulations are permitted under that decision.

On the campaign trail, Barack Obama — who doesn’t want any damn wedge issues getting in his way to the White House — had this to say, which is to say he had nothing to say:

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