Blogging on Meds

According to today’s WWD, a Thursday raid in Queens turned up $5.5M in counterfeit luxury goods. Faux Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Gucci and Prada handbags — 50,000 in all — were confiscated.

Along with the bags, 65,000 pairs of Nike shoes and 6,000 Bathing Ape jumpsuits were also seized. First of all, are Bathing Ape jumpsuits so hard to get or so expensive that you’d buy a budget version on Canal St.? The answer to that may actually be “yes” — Bathing Ape and/or jumpsuits were never really my style.

Knock-offs suck and if you don’t believe me, read Dana Thomas’s Deluxe: How Luxury Lost its Luster (and let me know how it is). By now it’s been well-publicized that imitation luxury goods support child labor, sweatshops, organized crime, terrorism and anything else that would bum you out. But the most important question here is not why we’re willing to throw money at such a skeevy industry.

Rather, it’s why do we have such terrible taste? Of all the things that can be reproduced, we want a rainbow Coach bag that looks like a first grader designed it and giant baby clothes? A momentary lapse in morals can be excused, but we all need to take a stand against the popularization of adult-sized infant wear.

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An expat economist I knew in Phnom Penh would pass the time at his boring office job playing computer games, but whenever his Khmer co-workers stopped by his desk, he’d hotkey off the window. Not because he was wasting time, but because he was afraid of having to explain the game Minesweeper in a country where 1 in 300 has lost a body part to a land mine or unexploded ordnance.

It’s amusing and really not amusing, a groaner joke that elicits equal parts smile and wince. But what’s worse, laughing at it or being limited to the binary reactions that discussing amputees and land mine victims can only be either cruel or somber?

Angola’s Miss Landmine beauty pageant looks like 100 percent good times. It doesn’t at all involve horror or pity. In fact, the pageant pulls off not only being uplifting, but actually getting you to cheer for the women. (When you look at the site, open the “Miss Landmine Theme Tune” in a new tab while you read.)

The contestants’ portraits are beautiful — fashiony, modeling-type photos, just with regular people who happen to be mine victims. Some look radiant, and others exude confidence. Their short bios give the usual info like kids, favorite color and dream job, plus the prosthesis they use, the type of mine they encountered and how it happened — walking home from school, running from soldiers, tending fields.

It reads like what I suppose a beauty pageant site would read like, but normalizing the mine info. Which is good, because it sucks to be poor, in a poor country, and handicapped. There’s no need to add stigma on top of that.

Voting is open until tomorrow (Friday, April 4, 2008), which is also International Mine Awareness Day.

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As interpreted by Balakov:

*the plaid shirt is an excellent detail.

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I find it comical, the position that Hillary Clinton supporters find themselves in at this moment.

It goes like this…“I hope enough people are duped into thinking that Obama is a racist that my girl wins”

Hillary has finally graced us with her opinion on the Wright controversy. This is from the Pittsburg Tribune Review

“He would not have been my pastor,” Clinton said. “You don’t choose your family, but you choose what church you want to attend.”

“You know, I spoke out against Don Imus (who was fired from his radio and television shows after making racially insensitive remarks), saying that hate speech was unacceptable in any setting, and I believe that,” Clinton said. “I just think you have to speak out against that. You certainly have to do that, if not explicitly, then implicitly by getting up and moving.”

Political pundits love to talk about politicians looking like “human beings”, well Hillary missed out on a major opportunity to look like a human being.

That is unless she truly believes that Obama shares the opinions of his pastor.

If not, why bring it up today? Why touch this stuff? How is this good for the Democrats? More importantly, how is this good for America?

Look Obama fucked up. I understand, the Clinton’s have never made friends with shady people for political gain, but at some point her people have to start thinking about November, right? Not doing so is like toppling Baghdad without a plan for the occupation.

Then, there are her comments on pledged delegates, from CNN

“And also remember that pledged delegates in most states are not pledged,” she told the editorial board of the Philadelphia Daily News Monday. “You know there is no requirement that anybody vote for anybody. They’re just like superdelegates.”

I can’t wait to hear someone stick up for that one. Please?

People have said that Obama is better off with Clinton right now then he would be against the GOP. This view ignores the fact that the Right is leading the march on this Wright stuff.

Check out these two segments from Sean Hannity’s March 8th show titled “The Real Barack Obama”.

The first portrays him as a terrorist linked to the radical SDS dropouts the Weather Underground.

The Second is about everyone’s favorite pastor.

This makes the swiftboat stuff look like child’s play and it is only from one night’s broadcast.

Now Democrats are being duped by the Clintons into thinking that this is “the Real Obama”. Cool.

If Hillary beats Obama because she has a better stance on Iraq, Economy, Healthcare, and Education then cool she is the better candidate and I will vote for her in November, but at some point her supporters have to admit that she is playing a dangerous game with this other crap.

This is not “blind Obama love” just common sense.

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Pakistan’s National Assembly elected its first female speaker ever today, as Fehmida Mirza, a Bhutto loyalist, got the nod. I’m sure that the Pakistani Taliban will be thrilled. The three-time parliamentarian won 249 of the 324 votes cast, and will lead the lower house. While this is good news in many ways, the new ruling coalition has a lot of work to do.

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No worries, it’s mellow here. Pretty much the same shit. Walked around today and met some rad folks and in true tourist style, photographed buildings. Construction, construction, and more construction. It’s baffling. Went kinda near The Burj Dubai which is a fucking neckbreaker of a building - 159 floors completed as of now, but they have 2 cranes perched at the top just to make sure that if another building sneaks past them in height, they can keep building higher towards where God lives. Imagine the World Trade Center in NYC - okay, so those were 110 floors. Imagine another 49 more floors higher, with the option of going higher - one guy told me that they’ll end around 175 floors but will have a massive antenna structure to boost it’s height. But Burj Dubai has some healthy competition - a building in Kuwait is going for 200+ floors. And another building in Bahrain is pushing for over 200 as well. The Burj Dubai is a beastly structure which will hold nine hotels, a handful of the top restaurants, a lake, commercial offices, shopping, and 30,000 homes for the fanciest of the fancy. A big fuck you to even the wealthy. Speaking of wealthy, I talked to a bunch of underpaid construction workers - who some get $150 a week. For work, some put up signs, some dig holes, some load steel on/off of trucks - most of them on their lunch breaks. Most of these people were Indian and Bangladeshi, and Iranian but some wouldn’t tell me. Or they would just say that they “came from India” even though they said they weren’t Indian. Not sure why that was what they told me…

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Greetings from Dubai.

Holy crap. Not that big of a deal so far…except it’s freakin insane. So yes, it’s actually a big deal here. Trying to actually get the grasp of what’s going on here in terms of construction, massiveness, sprawl, amount of people, or maybe the amount of “Americanization” even in an area of the world where I’d not expect to see this. I’m kinda obsessed with how much American shit is here. Fast food, automobiles, clothing, music, faux culture… In a few days or so I’m getting out of Dubai and heading into the deserts of the rest of United Arab Emirates and Oman and see some sand dunes, sheppards, hawk trainers, a non mall souk, off roading in a 4×4, kids with guns, you know, the normal day-to-day gnarly stuff. Papa Persia told me directly via Melika to stay out of Kish (Iran) so I might take his word. Unless I have an Iranian entourage that will take care of me.

This place is CRAZY - did I say that already? It’s literally the most hypocritical, kinda ridiculous but awesome, playground for the wealthiest people (Arabs) on the planet - which doesn’t necessarily make it cool…but keeps it interesting I walked around all day today, went to the beautiful beach, walked some more to the souk (but it was a wack souk - not authentic at all), stumbled upon some horrific boat show in the marina and saw what I thought was the most expensive superyachts - the yachts in the marina here had price tags of upwards of 50,000,000 Euro., crazy hotels ($700 a night??) the most expensive cars zipping up and down Jumeirah Beach Rd., the most expensive this, the most expensive that - whatever - mean while, the Mosques are blaring prayer - contrasting the new Puff Diddy/Mariah Carey songs coming out of these super wealthy prince-like kids’ Mercedes Benz with 20 inch “dubs.” Such a shock for that reason alone. Pizza Hut here, McDonalds here, K.F.C. inside a Starbucks inside a T.G.I.Fridays over there (nah, kidding). I swear that where I am is a mix of Newport Beach mixed with Miami mixed with Beverly Hills mixed with old Iranian and Saudi oil money mixed with tons of German tourists mixed with Las Vegas mixed with the Upper West side snobbery mixed with Disneyland and a sprinkle/dash/pinch of slave like workers from Bangladesh, India and Malaysia. I must say, this city/country’s people have been very welcoming and very warm and open. But I’m starting to think that with a overall population made up of 80% of ex-pats, along with countless amounts of tourists, we (they) have completely tarnished what U.A.E. once had - culture wise. From what some neo-local’s have said, the U.A.E. is doing a good job of weening itself off of it’s oil money and instead opting for other means of capital. And in fact, the U.A.E. wants Dubai to be THE world hub, not A world hub - which makes sense that all this construction is happening not now, but right now.

p.s. There’s a Tony Roma’s rib joint here. Not sure why that’s so funny to me, but it is.

p.p.s. There’s also a freakin ski slope in a mall. You can pay to ski, in the desert, in a mall. Not weird at all.

p.p.p.s. Dubai’s customs was a breeze. Don’t even worry about it.

p.p.p.p.s. T.G.I.Fridays here are called Where It’s Always Friday - I think because of the “God” in T.G.I.F.

Sorry, I’m so crazy over the Americana awfulness here.

I guess that’s really it for today. Kinda soaking it all in. Another update tomorrow with nicer pictures and not so much American shit to look at.

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As the sun rises on what is sure to be another week of intense competition for the hearts of Democrats, I can’t help but cringe at the thought of what low blows and long shots are going to be coming out of the Obama and Clinton camps, (luckily this morning’s headline on CNN.com is still a gnarly picture of Chuck Manson). Maybe Team Hill will leak info on some questionable comments made by Barak’s barber, or Obama will call for the release of all of Clinton’s pap smear results for the last 20 years.

The fact is, I am sitting here watching two candidates -both of whom I like, neither of whom I love- tear each other apart over ridiculous shit, causing me to like both of them less and less. Meanwhile, John McCain is running around the globe acting like the next leader of the free world, getting nothing but love from anybody, (except the foot-in-mouth Times).

We’ve discussed our concerns over this here before, and we’ve all held our breath at the hints of a joint ticket, but here’s an idea: Why don’t these two just agree -on the record- that whoever has the most delegates by Denver is President, and whoever has the second most is VP? Guaranteed joint ticket, with the possibility for both to keep trying to convince us they should be on the top. This would force them to lay off the nastiness and name calling, and -god forbid- maybe start articulating some policy proposals.

It would break Rush Limbaugh’s “heart” too.

Just a thought.

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Why is it that in a red state full of shitty people doing terrible things, nature takes out one the good ones? Mrs. Bonnie was known as a wonderful Gramma, Mother, Wife, and devoted lover of animals. Her death, along with the critical injuries of her husband and the many deaths of her dogs and other various animals is a tragic loss and we send our love to her friends and family at this time.

An Article from cnn.com

By Wynn Westmoreland

ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) — I met Bonnie Turner seven years ago when I was looking for a puppy.

There was just simply no one better to turn to than the eccentric grandmother who loved animals so much that her 86-acre North Georgia farm was home to donkeys, goats, high-priced show dogs and even a few wayward deer.

On Saturday, nothing was left of that bucolic sanctuary after a 130-mph tornado ravaged it. Bonnie died, thrown 50 feet from her home as her husband Michael cried out her name, their neighbors Joe and Jamie Wheeler said.Her death has shaken me. Images of the animals that died — at last 35 dogs and 100 still missing — make my voice crack when I speak about her.But I want her to be remembered as more than a victim, as probably does the family of the tornado’s second victim in Floyd County. Watch destruction in Floyd County »

Bonnie — whom everyone called Mrs. Bonnie — was a retired veterinarian’s assistant. Her husband, Michael, who now lies in a hospital in critical condition, built a home for them. Her “Mikey” was a man who knew that something beautiful takes time to build.

He spent hours making ornate clocks that decorated their home, and many more helping his wife oblige the physical rigors of taking care of dozens of animals. A band of Chihuahuas and a few of her award-winning American hairless terriers nipped at her ankles as she performed her daily chores.On a cloudless day in April in 2001, I visited Bonnie with a friend. She told us to lie in the grass, and she went inside her house, unleashed about a dozen puppies and watched as they ran out the door toward us. They began licking our ears, noses and toes.I noticed that a small, black-and-brown Chihuahua was trying to get my attention. I had been looking for a white female one, but Mrs. Bonnie would have none of that. “That’s your dog, he likes you,” she told me.I named the 4-pound Chihuahua Jesse James.During the years since, I often called Bonnie with questions about Jesse or dogs in general and she was always there to help.I wish everyone could have met her and experienced some of the happiness she evoked in so many. She is a soul who will be deeply missed.

Bonnie left this quote on her Web site, www.flinthillkennel.com: “Beauty such as this is a gift, and I’m often in awe of this world we’ve been given.”

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“Can’t talk now, I’m at SXSW” sent from my iPhone.

It’s that time of year where music industry people respond to anything you ask them by letting you know that they are at SXSW and you aren’t. I’m going to preface this by saying I’m semi-jealous.

Here’s the regular dude’s guide , I’ve enclose a graph so you can understand this mess, essential a shit load of money goes into this thing in order to not make money, I swear to god this is true. The Green line shows the dollars spent, the Doo Doo shows the money made.

Does anyone really understand South By Southwest? Here’s some things that make sense to me :

1. It’s fun. Especially if you’re a music industry peon, suddenly you’ve got an expense account and your job is to get fucked up with the band of the minute. How could that be a bad thing?

2. You have a new label, a new booking agency, or some new thing that you’re establishing and promoting, where else would you hype it but in a sweaty tent in Texas.

3. Established big name labels can get washed up bands to perform (R.E.M., Lemonheads) and show the world that hey “We’re trendsetters! HELLLOOO! You indie labels don’t have shit figured out there’s a reason why we get dental and you don’t!”.

4. It gives bloggers something to blog about. Hey bloggers, I’m not really sure how much advertising you pull in but I hope to christ sucking off Tapes and Tapes, Dan Deacon or The Tough Alliance actually pays your bills because otherwise you’re just telling me about really bad music that is as disposable on the 90s bands on Sub Pop that no one cared to check out despite Seattle being “the” place. Does anyone really know what Skin Yard or The Walkabouts sound like or more importantly does anyone give a shit?

So we’ve established that it’s important convene in Texas in a tent, spend tons of money and give the economy in Austin a major jump in order to succeed in the music business.

Who really profits from this besides hot dog vendors and hotels?

Booking agents - They scout new bands, see who blogs about them , gage the buzz and make calculated risks. No one buys CDs but people go to shows so that means these people actually make money, I know weird right? For some reason people that try to sell you plastic haven’t figure this out yet.

Bands - One feature on Pitchfork and you’ve gone from local whogivesashit to Recommended Listening, this could lead to a nice advance that you could purchase a loft in Brooklyn with or maybe a full career in music. You get exposure, your shows generate more cash, you sell more t-shirts , get free blow, and you’re getting laid. Bands are tied for the lead with the Booking agents.

Steve Jobs - The little rectangle that you store all the hot music that you stole that will break in 2 years is still helping Steve buy the world, he’s killing the music industry more than anyone but let’s face it, iPods are incredible and they look better than a Zune (is that even the name of an mp3 player? Did I make that up). It is a brilliant invention, I am cool with the music industry dying

Those seem to be the big winners. The magazines are dying, I have no clue what money blogs really take in , (hey big labels, pay more dudes to do blogs , remember payola, I know you do this already but get better at it), big labels spend way too much money and don’t get a return, in case you didn’t notice the best selling records last year were records aimed at people that don’t really download music yet :

Kids - High School Musical Soundtrack 2 - 2.7 Million Sold

Old People - Josh Groban - Noel 2.8 Million Sold

Those numbers are pathetic considering punch-lines like The Bullet Boys, Jackyl, Dangerous Toys and Slaughter have gold, platinum and multi plat records…think about that. None of those bands were even remotely the biggest names of their genre.

The moral. SXSW is a good time, if you’re there and not paying for it . You’re stoked, you’re seeing 50 shows a day, getting smashed and having more fun than me , that’s no lie. If you’re footing the bill you’re losing money and basically buying stock in a company that makes VHS machines or something, seriously what the fuck are you thinking.

I didn’t even get into people who refer to “rock stars” by first name ( Oh, I’m meeting Will for lunch, you know Will from The Analog Captians! They just signed to this new imprint of Sony that Devon’s running..you know DEVON who used to play in….), people who are “on the list” and the worst humans ever, people who wear laminates all day long.

Never trust anyone who wears a laminate if they aren’t carrying equipment, period.

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300 Miles From Anywhere, Mauritania

• As Liberia’s lights come back on, former warlord and the man responsible for ruining that country, Charles Taylor, sits in the dock at the International Criminal Justice court in The Hague getting his due. There is a very informative blog on his trial giving hourly updates and detailed descriptions of witness testimony from the Hague, etc. The posts are really long, but the transcripts are an interesting window into just how crazy the African wars of the 1990s were.

Following up on Marzah’s [Zigzag's] testimony from yesterday, Griffiths asked him whether he had eaten many people. Marzah stated that when someone wants to kill you and your family, you kill and eat them for revenge.

He went on to say that Taylor had ordered him and other NPFL/RUF fighters to eat captured ECOMOG and white UN people, using them “as pork to eat”. He confirmed yesterday’s account of eating Superman’s heart, and said he, Benjamin Yeaten and the others had done so on Taylor’s orders. He explained in detail how victims were prepared for cooking after being killed, and cooked with salt and pepper. He said Taylor knew this.

Wow. What the hell do you say to that?

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You heard me right folks. Sally Kern, the Oklahoman state legislature who compared homosexuality to terrorism, has a same sex oriented son by the name of Jesse(of which she has formerly disowned).

What a fantastic Mother! I’m sure Jesus will give her an extra big harp for ridding herself of her own son in the name of the lord. I haven’t seen such a bold sacrifice sense JC himself. Someone get this woman a cross so her son and all the gays of the world can hang her on it.

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It is not only our right as Americans but it is our duty as Americans to notify state legislature of whom they work for. SALLY KERN, Republican House Legislature, Oklahoma has been recorded spewing the most hate filled, homophobic remarks I’ve heard in a while. (Sense the whole Mike Huckafuck-Let’s quarantine them AIDS patients speech.)
I believe, as I think Jesus Christ would have (if he would have existed) that to condemn your fellow humans is to consider yourself god, and if he/she does exist then I’m pretty fuckin sure he/she has it under control and doesn’t need people like SALLY KERN (with questionably dike haircuts) telling us who to love.

Speaking of unquestionably gay republicans…

MARK FOLEY
TED HAGGARD
LARRY CRAIG
BOB ALLEN
GLEN MURPHY, JR.

Sally Kern, (R) needs a reminder of what her job entails. A separation of church and state for starts, and most importantly, to treat ALL PEOPLE EQUALLY.

Contact her today.

Capitol Address:
2300 N. Lincoln Blvd.
Room 332
Oklahoma City, OK 73105
(405) 557-7348
District Address:
2713 Sterling Ave.
Oklahoma City, OK 73127
Email:
sallykern {at} okhouse(.)gov

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Looks like Liberia isn’t alone in being the new transit point for cocaine traveling from Latin America to Europe. Guinea-Bissau, yet another failed/narco state in West Africa, is beginning to look a lot more like Colombia. The Guardian has a good story today about drug trafficking there, a country with no prisons and a police force that seems to be in on the smuggling. Colombian cartels are moving in and buying up walled compounds as well as politicians and cops. The coke phenomenon also seems to have taken the locals by surprise.

Guinea Bissau’s cocaine Calvary began three years ago when fishermen on one island found packages of white powder washed up on the beach. They had no idea what the mysterious substance was. ‘At first, they took the drug and they put it on their bodies during traditional ceremonies,” recalls local journalist Alberto Dabo. ‘Then they put it on their crops. All their crops died because of that drug. They even used it to mark out a football pitch’.

As though the suffocation of society by the cartels were not enough, Guinea-Bissau inevitably suffers from a proliferation of addiction among its own people. ‘Foot soldiers are paid in kind,’ says Antonio Maria Costa, ‘and whatever is left behind is sold domestically.’ With addicts hidden away in villages, many still believe that their hallucinations are the result of evil spirits.

In a country where the average wage is $1 a day, people are understandably being caught up in the flurry (uh, pun) of cash and an extravagant lifestyle.

Down a street of elaborate colonial-style buildings is Ana’s restaurant. Beneath red-tiled roofs, giant candles flicker in the gentle, humid evening breeze - it could be mistaken for an exotic tourist destination. But ‘the only visitors we get are the Colombians’, sighs Ana, ‘this country is being destroyed by drugs. They’re everywhere. A few weeks ago, the man who used to be my gardener knocked at the door and offered to sell me 7kg of cocaine.’

Crack kills (and makes you crazy):

When United Nations workers went to the country’s only excuse for a rehabilitation unit in a mangrove swamp 30km from the capital, they found a man called Bubacar Gano, who calls himself ‘the first man to smoke pedra’ - as crack cocaine is known in the country. He recalls the fishing boat that lost its load in the sea in 2005, saying: ‘Most of the locals who found the packages had no idea what it was or what to do with it. But I knew. After a while I became crazy and aggressive. But it is a difficult thing to stop smoking pedra.’

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The Caucasus region has long been an area of strategic importance.

Flanking both the Black and Caspian Seas, not only does it have its own generous resource endowment (statistics put the region’s oil reserves at anywhere from 17 billion proven to 95 billion potential barrels), but acts as a vital transit corridor for energy coming to and from Russia (sound familiar?).

For this reason, and a number of others, the region has been consistently volatile. It’s also populated mainly by — yep, you guessed it — Muslims. But two recent presidential elections — in Russia and Armenia, respectively — and a row with Azerbaijan have spotlighted both the importance of the Caucasus and its potential for further violence.

Dmitry Medvedev came to power in Moscow on Sunday as a well-groomed Putin successor. And just as the war in Chechnya in the North Caucasus defined Putin’s presidency, so will the handling of the growing conflict in the adjacent provinces mark Medvedev’s.

The violence has all but dissipated in Chechnya with the installation of Putin “strongman” Ramzan Kadyrov, and, The Economist lauds in its February 28 issue, “You can fly to Grozny, take a taxi and go to a restaurant.”

But while Grozny rebuilds from 13 years of ferocious war, a spate of violence has recently plagued Chechnya’s North Caucasus Muslim neighbors.

“The true legacy of Russia’s war on Chechnya is that its violence has spread to other Muslim republics, notably Dagestan and Ingushetia,” writes The Economist.

Dagestan borders the Caspian Sea, while Ingueshetia is wedged between Chechnya and North Ossetia. Both are ripe with energy and oil resources. Both are now the scene of routine bombings, ambushes and politically and ethnically motivated murder.

The latest attack included twin bombings on policemen in Dagestan coordinated for Medvedev’s election day.

The Economist writes:

“The Russian army has resorted to brutal mop-up operations involving methods little different from those of the terrorists. The result: a republic that was mostly peaceful at the beginning of Mr Putin’s presidency now resembles a war zone. ‘Instead of solving problems, they suppress them,’ says Ms Sokiryanskaya [of Russia's largest human rights group]. Inevitably, they re-emerge.”

On the Caucasus’ south side, Armenia’s February presidential election set-off days of protests in the capital in which eight people were killed. Demonstrators decry the victory of another of the region’s hand-picked replacements, Prime Minister Serge Sarkisian, who won the poll said to have both widespread irregularities and serious flaws.

A 20-day state of emergency was called in the mainly Christian Caucasus republic, and Putin expressed his support for the state crackdown on demonstrations this week.

AP reports on March 6: “Putin ‘expressed certainty that the efforts made by the Armenian leadership will serve to provide for constitutional order,’ the Kremlin said.

The bloodshed was the worst political crisis to hit this strategically located, volatile former Soviet land in nearly a decade. Armenia has close ties with Russia, which maintains a military base in the Caucasus Mountain nation.”

Also this week (Reuters):

“Azerbaijan accused Armenia of deliberately stoking unrest in the breakaway region of Nagorno-Karabakh, following a shootout there in which Azerbaijan said 15 soldiers had been killed.”

The death toll would mark the worst clash in recent years between the two Caucasus nations that are still technically at war with eachother.

Nagorno-Karabakh is home to a majority ethnic Armenian population, and broke off from Azerbaijan in the late 1980s sparking a war that killed over 35,000. It remains a part of southwestern Azerbaijan, but has since been put under mainly ethnic Armenian control.

Azeris claim the move to stoke violence was intended to deflect international attention from Armenia’s political debacle.

Reuters is sure to emphasize:

“Azerbaijan is a major oil producer and home to important gas and oil pipelines carrying energy from the Caspian Sea to world markets, which pass close to the border with Armenia. Armenia has no oil production or pipelines running through its territory.”

Check out “Oil and the Battle for Chechnya” which does an exceptional job of tracking the region’s burgeoning geostrategic significance through media and institutional reports.

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• Today’s Reads

We love to call out racism when we see it. Trust me. It’s our ultimate joy around here (see Anthony’s last post). Today Daily Kos, Wonkette, AmericaBlog and many other blogs are having great fun pointing out the difference in the color of Barack Obama’s face in the most recent Hillary Clinton ad versus the original color that appeared in a TV debate. Laypersons everywhere on the internet are comparing the side by side images and commenting as color theory experts. Their verdict is RACISM!

The tired, angry voice in my head screams out again: “Everybody’s a fucking expert!”

I’ve repeated that phrase for more than 15 years now - almost daily. As an accomplished creative director and video director I’ve had clients tell me they know nothing, but in the same breath go on a critical rant while they present a 25 point plan to make detailed adjustments on a project that they’ve hired me to direct.

Everybody should be critic, but not everybody can be an expert.
I happen to be both, so I will try in the quickest and simplest terms to explain what probably happened to the colors in Hillary’s ad.

Color correcting 101:
All film, video and pictures are color corrected (with the exception of most amateur or hobby-fessional work). We do this to fix unwanted color tints and to achieve a “look” that can also help convey a message. So far, we all seem to understand that.

Examples: Take a look at these two OJ covers. I’m sure you understand by now that all magazine pictures are photoshopped to make them look their best (we sometimes call it “retouching”). Color correction is always part of this process. Both magazines use the same image framed nearly the same way with similar bloody red type, but TIME wins this one by dialing down the saturation and darkening the picture overall to make OJ darker and scarier. Ooooohhhhh. Duh.

But here’s the rather boring punchline.

The people who made Hillary’s ad recorded Barack’s TV appearance, probably from a standard cable or satellite signal. Those signals need to be compressed to make it through the wires and into your home, therefore noise and artifacts (kinda like a bad emailed JPEG) will be present. Even if they got the footage from the network (which is unlikely), they may have been given the customary analog BetaSP tape, which is barely better than VHS.

Then they’ve got to take that footage and work with it. First thing they might do is try to reduce the noise introduced by the compression and correct the color. This softens the image and reduces detail in highlights and shadows. The net is an effective increase in contrast - a separation of dark and light tones - but still more flattering than the noise that would have speckled Obama’s face. It is obvious enough to see in the ad. Though it also looks like it was made a tiny bit darker overall, it’s accentuated by the poorly done vignette effect (the darkness around the edges of the frame). However, it’s barely any adjustment at all. And if it was truly an attempt to give Obama the TIME OJ treatment, it was a weak attempt.

Color is more complicated and difficult than it seems. This is why we hire color experts and spend thousands of dollars on software and hardware in attempt to keep our color optimized and calibrated.

Three still examples of the original video in this image (taken from AmericaBlog) show slight, normal color shifts.

The exact same colors that are produced on TV can’t be reproduced in magazines. The colors that you see on your shitty Windows machine are different from the colors I see on my Mac. Your computer monitor, TV, dvd player, cable network, satellite provider and even your eyes… all store and decode color differently. Do I need to remind you that there’s also a button or a dial on all of those machines that gives you the power to make Barack Obama appear forever purple if you feel like it?

We call that “operator error”

UPDATE: FactCheck.org agrees with me, they spent some more time on showing visual comparisons and they are right on point.

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“Gunboat diplomacy” has got to be my favorite way of flexing military muscle. Forget the sanctions, forget the covert ops, forget doing somersaults with AK-47s on your enemy’s border — just park out front and sit there. It’s so 19th-century Pax Britannia.

But yes, we still do it. Normally US warship stationing is rarely reported on, unless we’re conjuring up stories about the menace of Iranian speedboats, and it serves the purpose of portraying an always benevolent US empire under threat from an increasingly hostile Middle East.

The re-positioning of US warships off the coast of Lebanon showed up on the radar this week therefore not as an arrogant intimidation tactic (thank you, Al Jazeera, for reporting it as such), but on account of Hezbollah’s apparently fiery comments that the gunboats were a threat and they would not be cowed.

The US has sent three warships, including the USS Cole, to take up positions off the coast of Lebanon in a show of force over the ongoing political deadlock in the country. A senior US official said Washington was ‘very concerned’ about the situation in Lebanon and called the move ’support for regional stability.’

Hassan Fadlallah, a Lebanese MP from Hezbollah, called the US decision to position the warships off the coast ‘an attempt to spark tension’. “We don’t succumb to threats and military intimidation practised by the United States to implement its hegemony over Lebanon.”

Of course they’re a threat. How is that provocative? But drawing up a defiant Hezbollah, ready to throw its rhetoric at the mighty US, sure does make it easy to set the stage for another proxy war in Lebanon, with US-backed Israel and the Nasrallah-led Shiites duking it out in the south. The move is an obvious attempt to keep our Maronite mercenaries in power to the chagrin of the Syrian mukhabarat.

It should be noted the last time the Americans stationed their assault ships off Lebanon in the midst of the country’s 15-year civil war in 1983, they ended up shelling Beirut and retreating with their tails between their legs after 241 serviceman were killed in one of the first and most prominent Shiite-inspired suicide bombings in the region.

In a twist of irony, the USS Cole was deployed, having been put back into service after a hole was blown in its side by suicide bombers at the Yemeni port city of Aden.

To read an excellent account of Lebanon’s political and civil plight since the 1970s, including honest reporting on US, Israeli, Syrian, Palestinian and Iranian meddling in the tiny Mediterranean nation, pick up longtime Middle East correspondent Robert Fisk’s “Pity the Nation: Lebanon at War” (the first edition).

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Urban Hymns was released in Fall 1997 and a washed out video of a ronned out emaciated handsomely ugly Brit battle rapping everyone on a street shot them into American Pop Culture. Soon fat dorm chicks were making 12 beer mistakes with Smitty to the Verve Pipe and Bittersweet Symphony back to back. Nike , Cruel Intentions, etc, etc.

Tour dates have been announced for their return to the US, let’s revisit 1998.

Essentially 1998 was the year of the Verve in the US, the same year they called it quits. Did you ever think 1998 would be an epic year for tunes? Ten years later it seems pretty fucking important , check out the roster below, keep in mind this is just a summary, there was more shit going down but in retrospect viva la 98, shit was more legit than then Nah Nah Nahs or Crap and Kim or whatever blog crap I have to digest as awesomely Pitchforkian.

Belle and Sebastian - If You’re Feeling Sinister
Has one band blown it harder than these jerk offs. You get touted as the new Smiths , you instantly become huge with your mopey, miserable, melancholy tales of despair and then…yeah you release a bunch of shitty singles and boring records and become just some band. Shitty bands like the Killerzzzz that have gone platinum, what the fuck was wrong with B&S. They probably want to fucking kill Arcade Fire. Don’t they have a record cover with some animal sucking a girl’s tit…did that have something do to with it. G-Ross.

Archers Of Loaf - White Trash Heros
No it’s not Icky Mettle and yes it’s not essential Archers to the average floppy haired former Indie Rock Gas Station Jacket jerk off but this is a great record. The bookends could be two of their greatest songs. Dude says “Flicking ashes on heads of teenage kids with poorly tuned guitars”. Did Sebadoh or Superchunk write anything that rad? Did they do a song that got appropriated for MTV Sports and Danny Cortez? Is that a good thing? Not sure but the record is great and they actually did something challenging with their sound which most bands of their loose genre never did without injuring ear drums.

Juvenile - 400 Degreez
With Mannie Fresh calling the pitches like Varitek, Juvenile and the Cash Money Millionaires put the southern drawl on the map despite no one knowing that the fuck he was saying “You got that check cashing card ha, you got Girbaud jeans ha…you gsdhldsk k sklbs haaaa little boyszzzz run Forrest run Forrest” . They made the 2 Live Crew look like the descendants of the Fat Boys and ran shit hard, this was a landmark in rap, if you talk about the south please talk about Juvy not Andre 3000 and his broke ass stolen wig, Keith want that shit back.

Air - Moon Safari
Remember this whole shit, when boring people who wanted to feel cutting edge needed something new and French dudes like Air gave you a break from Kid Rock. I’m sure plenty of tight Manhattan apartments had this queued up in case some Shout type guy could convince some entry level chick in a striped shirt to come check out his slides.

Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea
Some people really give a shit about this stuff, it makes me feel uneasy like that guy with no eyebrows in Modest Mouse, like I can hear how mentally unstable dude is and it wigs me out. The biggest ripple was felt by Blakebreaker. He went from being in a great band with great lyrics to becoming a harmonica toting Honky that sang about his bassist and beards. Thanks NMH. Couldn’t you have influenced someone I hated like the Throw Up Kids or something?

The Beta Band - The Three Eps
Remember that scene in High Fidelity, that’s pretty much it. See how much music has progressed in ten years? What would they throw on now to sell a bunch of CDs..that’s right nothing because people don’t buy music or go to record stores. That movie sucked but the dude Ian with the Pony Tail played by Tim Robbins was great, anyone with a vest who wears crystal with a loose pony tail is onto something.

Pulp - This Is Hardcore
Yup before Jarvy played mp3s at Shitshapes he made girls with self esteem swoon with his witty lyrics and bravado. Now he’s kind of a cartoon of what a clever import should be. Clever lyrics kind of have a shelf life kind of like OJ Simpson jokes , after you get a few chuckles or go “Oh man, that’s brilliant!” it’s not much different than some Ramones lyrics about sniffing glue. What’s amazing is the album cover, does it get any better? Thank you Mr.Saville. I always thought a Hardcore band should call their record This Is Britpop and have some HC chick getting banged by a dude in a hooded sweatshirt.

Jay-Z - Vol. 2 …Hard Knock Life
Jigga wasn’t always a Brand® that mouthed the words to Amy Winehouse songs at the Spotted Pig doing that sistah neck thing complete with a 24 inch No No No finger wave. Sure Biggie had hits but Jigga flipped the game in that he didn’t make commercial rap, he made rap records that were commercially accepted. Maybe it’s that grating sound of little black kids in Annie wigs stomping on my head when I hear Hard Knock Life that makes this maybe my 2nd favorite Jigga album but it’s a classic. Spring Break rap.

Spiritualized - Live At The Albert Hall
Everyone owns this but no one really listens to it, that’s power. Good work J.Spaceman.

Honorable Mention

Mercury Rev - Deserter’s Songs
Their best record, better than anything the Flaming Drips have ever done, if they had a jokey single they’d be the hot band to like.

Elliott Smith - XO
“That dood that sings the fahkin’ song in Good WIll Huntin is wicked ugly dood, he looked like he was comin from a bendah on the Oscahs dood.”

Cam’ron - Confessions Of Fire
Not even close to the best Cam record but think about that cover and tell me it’s not worth mentioning.

Rad If You Need To Clean Your Dorm
the roots, lauren hill, outkast
Lowercase because I don’t give a shit, I don’t know the names of their albums

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I went to Brazil this past summer on skate trip, John helped make the DVD that went out in The Skateboard Mag, I found these photos from the trip and thought they should see the light of day. The girl in the photo is pregnant and must be some where around 17 years old. She saw that I had a camera and showed me she wanted me to shoot her photo. Her friend joined and it made for a strange situation. I was just minding my own business shooting some 16mm on the beach and ended up going home with border line kiddy porn. But Brazil was beautiful in a way no words can describe, it had some of the most naturally amazing places I had ever seen, and also some of the darkest and most stricken by poverty.