
“Can’t talk now, I’m at SXSW” sent from my iPhone.
It’s that time of year where music industry people respond to anything you ask them by letting you know that they are at SXSW and you aren’t. I’m going to preface this by saying I’m semi-jealous.
Here’s the regular dude’s guide , I’ve enclose a graph so you can understand this mess, essential a shit load of money goes into this thing in order to not make money, I swear to god this is true. The Green line shows the dollars spent, the Doo Doo shows the money made.
Does anyone really understand South By Southwest? Here’s some things that make sense to me :
1. It’s fun. Especially if you’re a music industry peon, suddenly you’ve got an expense account and your job is to get fucked up with the band of the minute. How could that be a bad thing?
2. You have a new label, a new booking agency, or some new thing that you’re establishing and promoting, where else would you hype it but in a sweaty tent in Texas.
3. Established big name labels can get washed up bands to perform (R.E.M., Lemonheads) and show the world that hey “We’re trendsetters! HELLLOOO! You indie labels don’t have shit figured out there’s a reason why we get dental and you don’t!”.
4. It gives bloggers something to blog about. Hey bloggers, I’m not really sure how much advertising you pull in but I hope to christ sucking off Tapes and Tapes, Dan Deacon or The Tough Alliance actually pays your bills because otherwise you’re just telling me about really bad music that is as disposable on the 90s bands on Sub Pop that no one cared to check out despite Seattle being “the” place. Does anyone really know what Skin Yard or The Walkabouts sound like or more importantly does anyone give a shit?
So we’ve established that it’s important convene in Texas in a tent, spend tons of money and give the economy in Austin a major jump in order to succeed in the music business.
Who really profits from this besides hot dog vendors and hotels?
Booking agents - They scout new bands, see who blogs about them , gage the buzz and make calculated risks. No one buys CDs but people go to shows so that means these people actually make money, I know weird right? For some reason people that try to sell you plastic haven’t figure this out yet.
Bands - One feature on Pitchfork and you’ve gone from local whogivesashit to Recommended Listening, this could lead to a nice advance that you could purchase a loft in Brooklyn with or maybe a full career in music. You get exposure, your shows generate more cash, you sell more t-shirts , get free blow, and you’re getting laid. Bands are tied for the lead with the Booking agents.
Steve Jobs - The little rectangle that you store all the hot music that you stole that will break in 2 years is still helping Steve buy the world, he’s killing the music industry more than anyone but let’s face it, iPods are incredible and they look better than a Zune (is that even the name of an mp3 player? Did I make that up). It is a brilliant invention, I am cool with the music industry dying
Those seem to be the big winners. The magazines are dying, I have no clue what money blogs really take in , (hey big labels, pay more dudes to do blogs , remember payola, I know you do this already but get better at it), big labels spend way too much money and don’t get a return, in case you didn’t notice the best selling records last year were records aimed at people that don’t really download music yet :
Kids - High School Musical Soundtrack 2 - 2.7 Million Sold
Old People - Josh Groban - Noel 2.8 Million Sold
Those numbers are pathetic considering punch-lines like The Bullet Boys, Jackyl, Dangerous Toys and Slaughter have gold, platinum and multi plat records…think about that. None of those bands were even remotely the biggest names of their genre.
The moral. SXSW is a good time, if you’re there and not paying for it . You’re stoked, you’re seeing 50 shows a day, getting smashed and having more fun than me , that’s no lie. If you’re footing the bill you’re losing money and basically buying stock in a company that makes VHS machines or something, seriously what the fuck are you thinking.
I didn’t even get into people who refer to “rock stars” by first name ( Oh, I’m meeting Will for lunch, you know Will from The Analog Captians! They just signed to this new imprint of Sony that Devon’s running..you know DEVON who used to play in….), people who are “on the list” and the worst humans ever, people who wear laminates all day long.
Never trust anyone who wears a laminate if they aren’t carrying equipment, period.
TAGS:
Bloggers,
SXSW,
Texas
RELATED POSTS: